


No damage to third parties

by LydiaClairvoyanne



Category: Naruto
Genre: AU, Arranged Marriage, Cheating, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, F/M, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, M/M, Past Abuse, Protective Uchiha Sasuke, Public Display of Affection, Writers & Artists, explicit gay sex, heavy make outs, selective mutism, traumas
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-03-05
Updated: 2021-03-18
Packaged: 2021-03-18 23:16:19
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 7,481
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29865567
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LydiaClairvoyanne/pseuds/LydiaClairvoyanne
Summary: Precisely now the past ruptured back into his life.The compulsion to coincide with each other, the need to graze, to kiss, to bind one another with a hug was frantic, instantly damning the moment Naruto had found everything anyone could ever wish for. His everything.So much dreaming, missing, and searching only to have Sasuke come back into his life… maybe too late.AKA Naruto just got engaged, when Sasuke’s wanting, needing eyes found his, and he knew - it’s like the worlds colliding. And they could never, ever tear us apart.
Relationships: Gaara/Uzumaki Naruto, Haruno Sakura/Uchiha Sasuke, Uchiha Itachi & Uchiha Sasuke, Uchiha Sasuke/Uzumaki Naruto
Comments: 11
Kudos: 24





	1.  1.1 Amo soltanto te: Oggi è quel giorno che aspettai

**Author's Note:**

  * For [magaly05](https://archiveofourown.org/users/magaly05/gifts).



> Hello, 
> 
> this all started as an idea in Magaly05's head. Then it went on in really excited conversation on messenger - please note we are 7 hours apart, so this was really fun lol, and till nowadays is, because we always woke the other one up with some andom shit we gotta show the other lol -, and like, the idea was short, awesome, emotionally full, and the concept just so beautiful, I just had to work on it and make it the desirable story my friend needed to read. 
> 
> I mean, thats what friends are for, aren't they - you tell them the exact scene of gayporn you wanna read, and your friend writes it down for you both to enjoy, because thats the kind of education you need (and alos alot of researched tiktok videos full of slash, yaoi, porn and k-pop fanservice, lol). 
> 
> Anyway, this original story idea wasnt mine but is Magaly05's, so everything is her fault, yes? Everything. Itachi's suffering and Fugaku being an asshole, that's all on her, I'm just sitting here politely smiling and writing down everything she wants, lol. 
> 
> In honor of Magaly05's birthday, I decided to publish the story we've been working on together for nore than 5 months now. It's got everything you might love: pretended marriage, asshole Fugaku, traumatized Gaara, dirty-minded Naruto who only wants the best for everyone around, traumatized Itachi who is scared of everyone - especially his father, Sasuke with selective mutism and extremely protective of his brother... and so, so much more! 
> 
> I really hope you guys are gonna love this story as much as Magaly05 and me do.  
> Enjoy! 
> 
> Magaly05 and Lydia L.K. Clairvoyanne

1.1 Amo soltanto te: Oggi è quel giorno che aspettai

Naruto spins the ring in his fingers, up and down. He can feel the cold white gold on his warm fingers. Everyone says they are the perfect couple. Everyone says they were destined. Everyone says they’d be forever. 

(Peer pressure?) 

Naruto puts the ring back in the box, it’s fancy and a bit girly, because that’s what Gaara loves and enjoys the most. He fixes his shirt and hides the box in a pocket in exactly the moment Gaara enters their living room, dressed nearly as fancy as the restaurant Naruto chose for today. Gaara always looks perfect, like a model straight out of an Armani ad. Naruto smiles at him, taking the sight in. He looks like every persons’ dream, like everything anyone could ever wish for in their partner. And his looks had nothing on his personality. 

“You look beautiful,” Naruto greets his partner. 

Gaara, shy even after three years of relationship (and nearly eighteen months of living together), smiles timidly, as he looks down, waiting for his boyfriend to come to him, hold him by his lips and kiss his cheek gently. 

“Hnn,” Naruto hums contently. “You smell good.”

“So do you,” Gaara whispers, kissing his jaw. 

“Wow, that’s a new one, Sh’kamaru usually says I smell like ink and graphite,” Naruto chimes in, trying to cajole a smile out of his boyfriend. 

Gaara does smile, timid, shy, barely there smile Naruto loves on him. Sweet, humble, shy, romantic, loyal, friendly, responsible, trustworthy, supporting, loving - Gaara is the dreamy boyfriend. He appears cold at first, guarded behind the walls he built up during the years of emotional and physical abuse, but when you got to know him, he was a gentle and loving person. 

Naruto gently squeezed his hips and let go only to take his hand and lead him outside. “What did you do today?” 

“Ah, just went through the second chapter.” 

“I see, just reading it, or you corrected some?” 

“Corrected a bit. Mostly read.” 

“Did you write something else into the chapter? I’d love to read it.” 

Gaara smiles again, gently squeezing Naruto’s hand in his. “Yes, I wrote… a bit.”

“And can I read it tonight?” 

“...Yes,” Gaara nods shyly, still not used to Naruto's care for his book, for his writing, for what he did during the day, what went through his head. He’s probably never getting used to it, ever. “Thank you.” 

“I should be thanking you, love,” Naruto holds his boyfriend closer, feeling all kinds of warm and cozy, seeing Gaara happy, smiling, pleased. It’s an endearing sight. “I’m really honoured you let me read an unfinished book of yours. I know writers are usually uncomfortable, letting anyone at all read something they are still working on.” 

“I’m happy you care,” Gaara whispers and it seems it wasn't meant to be heard. But Naruto did hear him. And it pains him Gaara went through what he did, and that left him damaged like he is now. 

“Of course I care, love,” Naruto stops at the red light, turning to his redhead and kissing his slightly pink cheek. “You are my most important person. I love you very, very much..!” 

And with that he kisses Gaara’s small pink nose. The weather is a bit brutal for this time in the year, but it’s nothing surprising. A small walk through their neighborhood to the restaurant Gaara loves so much (but doesn't go that often since it’s quite expensive) will do good to both of them - Naruto loves walks through the city, and Gaara needs to get out, since he mostly works from home, rarely going out to meet publishers, his team, press conference, or public readings. 

“I - I lo-love you too.” 

Naruto uses Gaara’s surprise at Naruto’s public display of affection and kisses him, because Naruto wasn't his first partner at all, but he’s the first partner who acknowledges him as his significant other in public. Be it holding hands, or kissing like this, or just hugging or genuinely introducing Gaara to all his friends and colleagues as “this is my boyfriend Gaara”, and since they’ve been living together it’s always “this is my partner, Gaara”. The traumatized man never had anyone who’d shown him… respect, partnership in public, yet alone regarding themself at their jobs or in front of their friends. Naruto was like this right from the beginning. 

“Ehm, as much as I’m happy for you are so in love, can you please not stand in the way of ordinary pedestrians who just want to cross the road?” a man in a suit, maybe in his fifties, interrupts their gentle kiss. His tone is a bit strict, but he doesn't mean any harm. 

“Oh, yes - I’m sorry, sir, we didn't notice it’s green, my apologies,” Naruto scratches the back of his neck, a happy grin on his face as he takes Gaara’s hand and moves along with all the people they were blocking on the lights. 

“No need to apologize, young man,” the man says, his tone gentler now. “I was young, once, too.” 

Gaara is hiding in the collar of his light trenchcoat Naruto always insisted he looked “like a hot, cool, sophisticated millionaire”, while Naruto giggles, when the man goes his way and they go theirs: “I feel like a child with a crush.” 

“You are not,” Gaara reminds him. “You are a young, responsible adult.” 

Naruto grins, because he doesn't know how to answer compliments, and rather goes back to the conversation they had before. “So, that was the morning, what did you do all afternoon?” 

“Had… I then had a conference with my team,” Gaara says somewhat sadly. 

Ah, Naruto realizes. That’s where the wolves are howling from. “About what, darling?” 

Naruto smiles, used to the fact he has to lure every word out of him by direct questions. Due to his childhood and teen years of abuse he received from both, family members and his school mates, Gaara believes no one cares what he has to say, what he thinks, his opinions or reasons. Some days were good, some of them were… well, obviously, like today. 

“The… ehm….Among… other things,” Gaara mumbles. 


	2. 1.2: Amo soltanto te; Siamo gli stessi

Naruto knows that’s it, that’s what went wrong today and that’s why Gaara is even more timid, even more closed off than usual. Someone said something to him, someone was inconsiderate or maybe insensitive. Gaara is very sensitive about his books obviously, most writers who use their own life experience as part of inspiration, or use writing as therapy. (For Gaara, it’s both.) 

“About what exactly, love?” Naruto remains calm, understanding, like always. 

“They, uhm,” Gaara takes a second, obviously gathering courage to say this out loud, to make it seem like it’s not a problem, it’s just a fact. He never admitted he’s hurt, or that something bugs him. He just went quiet, he pretended everything was okay and that he isn't hurt at all. But Naruto’s main weapon, and the thing he’s the best at, is empathy, and the ability to read people, to be able to see things from their point of view. He usually used this advantage in his professional life (as he did with Gaara, when ended up publishing his first book in the company Naruto works in), but using it in his personal life, that was new with Gaara. “Don't like the title. So… I have to change it.” 

“The title of the book?” 

“They aren't happy about that, either,” Gaara agrees. “But told me directly… to change the second chapter title.” 

Naruto lets go of Gaara’s hand, and hugs his torso instead. “I think the title is fitting and witty. And I also think that if your supporting team has ideas of their own without your agreement, you no longer have a team. Anyway, you are a writer, Gaara. You wrote three books without their help, and you can write and publish the fourth one without them, too.” 

Gaara looks up to meet his eyes, obviously stunned: “Y-you think I could?” 

“Yes!” Naruto laughs, short and genuine. “Yes of course!” 

“My-my agent says it’s… it looks better when I have a team to help me… establish things. To… to put more objective into my writing,” Gaara explains thoughtfully, as if not sure if it’s okay to say his opinion out loud, so he rather follows what people with stronger personality say to him. 

“Well, I can say, as a professional, that agents only see money. When you hire them, they tell you to hire a team, which means more money to him, more power over the writer and easier access to guide him to write… well, what the agent thinks people are rather gonna buy. It’s kinda like what I used to do for Danzo’s company - he was a smart, but manipulative person. He knew exactly how to work, what to do, what to attend and how to sell a product. He used all kinds of psychology tricks and that, forced me to sell mostly sex as illustrations and such. That’s why I only stayed there for a while, then I left, the second I had enough money to start a life. But on the other hand, I know Jiraiya is pretty comfortable with an agent, since he mostly works anonymously. I mean, I don't blame him - you can hardly be a politician and a famous pornwriter at the same time, right,” Naruto attempts to joke, but quickly remembers Gaara doesn't really have a sense of humor. 

“I know,” he agrees, perfectly serious. “I… that’s why I thought it would…” 

“If you feel comfortable having a team around you, because they give you ideas or help you with writing, or keep you somehow in line of what you want to say with the book, you should keep them. If your agent chooses the right PR for you, follows what you want, gives you what you need, you should keep him.” 

“I… I had an anxiety attack before calling him this morning,” Gaara admits sadly. 

Naruto stops dead in his tracks, looking at Gaara, gently nudging him: “You - wh-why didn't you call me first, love?” 

“I-I’m sorry, I knew you’d be in conference, and I didn't want to disturb you with something so silly,” Gaara shrugs. 

“Anxiety attack isn't anything silly, Gaara,” Naruto hugs his boyfriend in the middle of the street. He doesn't give a fuck about blocking half of the pavement. “I’m sorry. And, just so… you know, your agent should bring you comfort, compromises on hard decisions about your career, and seeing to the future. Same goes for the team.” 

“So I can tell them… no?” the redhead asks with uncertainty. 

Naruto takes a hold of his hand again and continues their walk. 

“You can fire them, love,” Naruto smiles at him encouragingly. “Especially when they tell you you are not competent enough to know how to name your book, or the separative chapters. You published three books without them all, and you were so successful you are a writer for living now. That's barely something most of the freelancers or writers can say - most of them need to do something else too to be able to fend for themselves.” 

“And… and when I fi-fire them,” Gaara steps into the restaurant. “Do I… do I keep the publisher?” 

“Yes, of course,” Naruto assures him and tells the waiter who welcomes them about their reservation. “You can. But you can also change it. I’m sure Sh’kamaru will understand.” 

“I want you to keep illustrating my books,” Gaara insists as Naruto takes his trenchcoat and helps him to his seat. 

Naruto leans to his soon to be fiance and kisses his cheek, mumbling into his ear: “You are my favourite writer. My illustrations will never leave your books.” 

Gaara leans into the tender kiss. “I’m… I’m really happy I have you.” 

“I’m happy I have you too, Gaara,” Naruto whispers into his ear and takes his place to sit down. He’s always this soft, when it comes to him - it’s just gentle care, loving words, tender kisses and slow tempo. Gaara is the most comfortable like that. 

“I-I, uh, am - I didn't even ask about your day, forgive me - I’m always talking about myself. How was your day, Naruto?” Gaara changes the subject swiftly. 

“Oh, my day was just great, really. I met with the traveler - the one we are making the press about his travels around east Europe. He’s awesome, really funny and actually can speak a ton of languages. He has a lot of photos, so we spent most of the day going through it and he was providing me with commentary so I know what photos to use at what chapters and such. I’ll have to work closely with him, because he basically wants the book conciped as a photo album with side commentary. He wants a lot of pictures, mostly collages, some art and that, it will be a hell for Shiki, but pleasure for me, and for the team as well.” 

“I’m glad you had fun,” Gaara genuinely comments - he knows meeting funny and witty people makes Naruto nearly as happy as his job. “Was Shikamaru in a better mood than yesterday?” 

“No, not really much,” Naruto sighs, his happy grin disappearing. “I think he’s having troubles at home. I didn't see Ino for the whole week.” 

“Is she alright?” 

“Working from home, I get her emails just the same, but she’s… I don't know. Not personal, you know? She’s usually… I don't know, personal a bit. You know, friendly, well, you know her. But this week she’s… strictly professional, and it’s kinda… I don't know. Makes me nervous.” 

“Did they have a fight?” Gaara asks as a waiter comes to take their orders. After they choose and send the waiter off with a sweet thanks, Gaara asks the question again. 

“I don't know, I didn't ask. Shiki didn't look particularly friendly, and when Kakashi showed up late to our meeting, he usually teases him about his porn, right?” 

Gaara madly blushes, obviously uncomfortable with such a word being said aloud in a public place, and furthermore place this fancy and elegant. Naruto doesn't honestly care what people think about him, and continues. “Well, today he actually yelled at him for being late, for reading instead of doing his job, for being late with the translation he was supposed to have yesterday. I mean, don't get me wrong, I know how Kakashi can be, but… this wasn't really necessary, especially when it was never an issue. Yes, Kashi’s late, but his work is exceptionally good, and he rather spends three more days rereading, correcting, than to turn in something half-done.” 

“He might be just overworked,” Gaara suggests, taking a glass of water. “I know he read the concept I sent him at 3 am.” 

“Why? He told me he was at it when we went for lunch together. Said he’s in the middle already,” Naruto muses, obviously invested in the issue. “Well, I think something’s up, but he wasn't really in a mood to talk. Even the lunch was tense. Kashi rather pretended he had work to do.” 

“I might ask him,” Gaara volunteers immediately. “I can ask him why he was reading and replying to my emails this late at night.” 

“I hope he won't lash out on you too,” Naruto says after a while. “Kashi and him are friends, and even though Kakashi was playing it cool, I know even he was off because of it. I don't want Shiki to take it out on you too.” 

“I’m a client, that’s different, isn't it?” Gaara asks. “I mean, we don't have a personal relationship.” 

“Well, you can always ask. And you can tell him about your team and agent. He might provide you with solutions. I’m sure he knows first hand how to deal with it. Or maybe he’d be able to recommend a new team, if you feel comfortable with it.” 

Gaara seems to think for a while, then answers uncertainly, like he needs Naruto’s approval first: “I’m… not sure I… want a team.” 

“You don't need a team,” Naruto grins at him. “You are an awesome writer.” 

“I’m probably not,” Gaara smiles shyly, “but I’m happy you think so.” 

Their meal is fancy and delicious, and while Naruto enjoys his steak, Gaara stays loyal to his love for fish. (Naruto would say there’s something fishy about the grouper with lemongrass - it’s served with lemongrass, c’mon - a  _ fish  _ served on  _ grass _ ! -, but he knows Gaara doesn't really have a sense of humor, so this remark would just confuse him.) Naruto fondles the small box that rests in his pocket. He doesn't know when to do it. Or how to do it to be… precise. When they finish eating, Naruto finds himself staring without being noticed. Gaara is handsome, that’s for sure. He’s so good to Naruto, so attentive, talkative, always ready to help the blond, support him, talk to him. Gaara’s always up for cuddles, he never says no to the social life Naruto craves, and their love life is just… sweet. Tender, romantic and so, so full of love. Naruto finds himself smiling. Yes. He wants to do it. Gaara is a sweet, lovely companion, supportive partner and a loyal friend. It’s a good idea. 

He waits for the waiter to take their plates and refill their glasses with red wine. Yeah, Naruto decides. It’s a good time. 


	3. 1.3: Amo soltanto te: Non chiederei di più

“Gaara, I… was thinking about… what we were talking about at the family dinner last week, remember? The… the stability and plans for our future. And about… about the two of us, and. We’ve been living together for long enough to know you are the one for me, because I’ve never felt so comfortable, so good and so stable with anyone else before. Gaara, you gave me the sense of family I’ve never had, you… you bring me peace and joy, I love you and I’d be honoured,” Naruto finally takes the small box out, sliding it on the table, closer to Gaara to see it. “to spend the rest of my life with you.” 

Gaara is speechless, wildeyed watching the box. He wasn't expecting that at all, Naruto realizes, watching Gaara’s completely stunned face, as he takes the box and opens it, as if he doesn't really believe what is happening - surprise, when he sees the ring, is a weak word. There’s a stunned silence on Gaara’s part and Naruto patiently waits for an answer, when he realizes - he didn't  _ ask  _ him anything. 

“Will, ehm, Gaara, will you marry me?” 

As if it was even possible, Gaara’s bewildered eyes got even bigger, as he shot his look up to see Naruto’s eyes. “Are… you joking.” 

It’s not a question, and Naruto has to say, the look on Gaara’s face is precious. He wants to remember this moment till the end of his life. 

“I’m perfectly serious.” Naruto shakes his head shortly, obviously amused.

“I-I, yes, Naru - Naruto,” Gaara breathes out, finally the reality hits him, he stands up from the table and Naruto follows to hug him tight, softly laughing into his finacé’s ear. “Yes, Naruto, yes, of course I’ll marry you!” 

Gaara squeaks rather loudly, drawing attention from three closest tables, who heard him and started to clap their hands, some of them shouting nice, happy and excited words at them of “good luck”, “you are so lucky!” and “happy engagement!”, and Naruto can feel the warm feeling inside his guts, the one he has everytime he looks at Gaara. It’s soft, and loving, and precious, and sweet. It’s always sweet with Gaara. 

Everything is sweet and nice with him. 

“I love you,” Gaara whispers in his ear, and Naruto can tell he’s crying a bit. “I love you, Naruto, I-I love you so-so much!” 

“I love you too,” Naruto squeezes him in his arms. “You make me so happy, my darling.” 

“I-I wasn't… I had no idea you -,” Gaara is obviously out of his element. He's forgetting how to breathe and talk at the same time, he’s so shocked and so excited, Naruto’s never seen him look like this. “I didn't-” 

“Shh, love, shh,” Naruto rubs his back and his sides. “Calm down, please. I don't want you to work yourself up to anxiety attack. Shh, I’m here, I’m sorry for making a scene. Are you alright?” 

“Y-you di-didn't make a sc-scene, you listened to-to all I-I said, when-when we were talking ab-about enga-gagement las-last week,” Gaara mumbles, overwhelmed with feelings. “You li-listened to everything I’d lo-love to be as-asked, If I was in Te-Temari’s shoes. And-and you pi-picked the right restaurant, the right-the right ring, too, oh my god..!” 

Truth be told, Naruto had it pretty easy. A week back, they were with Gaara’s siblings and their partners at a small get together, and Temari got engaged (in Zanzibar, white beaches, romantic dinner under night sky, slow music). Gaara wasn't much of this type, he preferred something small, like one of the nice restaurants that are quite close to their apartment, and he’d enjoy a rather small ring, something elegant, nice, easy to catch attention, easy to wear all the time without it being in the way or in constant danger. He also said he’d feel uncomfortable if someone kneeled in front of him, so that was also a good lead Naruto had for his engagement surprise. Gaara also said he’d hate to find the ring in his food or a drink, there’s always danger in eating it by accident or choking on it. He said he’d love something easy, small, nice, quiet and rather private. 

(They would stay private and quiet, if Gaara wouldn't squeak and shout. Naruto had no idea his fiancé even could produce that kind of sound.)

It’s sweet, it’s so sweet Naruto can't help it and hold his darling close, breathing him in, exciting himself about the nice, comfortable life that awaits him with this decision. Gaara is everything anyone could ever wish for.  _ Everything _ . 

Naruto slowly lets go of him, needing to look in his eyes, make sure he’s alright. And Gaara is tearing up, but he’s smiling with his whole face. 

“I’m - I’m so happy, Naruto,” Gaara tells him, and he truly is. He is, he’s so excited, so happy, still as surprised. 

He wants to say he’s glad, but decides to say: “I am, too.” He helps Gaara sit back down, and thanks the waiter who brings an entire bottle of the same fancy red wine they’ve been drinking today, saying it’s for the happy couple on the house. He obviously knows who Gaara is, even addresses him by his name, congratulating them and wishing them luck and happiness. 

Naruto finally takes the ring out of the box and slips it onto Gaara’s shaking ringfinger. It sits perfectly, and Gaara is surprised at that, too. Naruto would say something about wanting to give him a cockring first and then deciding it’s not appropriate to ask for one’s hand (or cock in this case) in public like that, but he knows that would make Gaara uncomfortable, so he’s not saying that. Instead, he says he knows his loved one perfectly. 

“I wasn't… we never spoke about this, I didn't even know you’d want to get married,” Gaara is coming down from the shock, obviously trying to see where it came from. 

“Well, I settled with you, we are still in love, we are perfect for each other, all of our friends think so too, and even Temari likes me,” he jokes slightly, but Gaara doesn't seem to get it, so he says, “She’s really overprotective about you, you know. And with Temari being engaged, you seemed so thrilled for her, I just… I knew it’s a good decision to make.” 

“You… you were thinking about marrying me before the dinner?” Gaara raises his non-existent eyebrows. 

“Yes, of course. The dinner was just… well, you basically told me how you want it to happen, I’d say it was a cherry on top, really,” Naruto reaches across the table and catches Gaara’s hand in his, looking at the ring. 

“It’s beautiful,” Gaara comments after a while. “Thank you.” 

“Is it? I wasn't sure if this was what you had in mind,” Naruto bites his lower lip sheepishly. 

“It is - it is, it’s perfect,” Gaara is looking at his left hand like he’s never seen it before. “I can't wait to tell my siblings.” 

“We can invite them over for Sunday brunch,” Naruto suggests. 

Gaara smiles at his left hand, then looks up to meet Naruto's eyes: “You are way too nice to me.” 

“That’s because you are nice to me too,” Naruto argues, bringing Gaara’s hand to his lips and gently kissing it. 

Sweet, nice, warm, cozy, romantic, soft. It’s always like that with Gaara. 


	4. 2.1:Brother: So hold on tight

Sasuke was both full of rage and full of relief. Both feelings have the same causator, as well as aim. He’s a calm man perfectly aware of how to hide his feelings to appear cold and threatening, but right now the only thing keeping him sane and on leash not to murder a certain  _ someone _ , is the knowledge of his older brother being close, so close he can nearly smell his cologne. 

Not wasting his time to park in the garage, he leaves his car in the driveway, nearly running to the door, using his keys to get inside only to be surprised by Konan, Itachi’s wife, in the hallway. She’s dressed to leave, elegant, sober, calm and collected as always. Her hair is still blue, but it seems a different shade. 

“Good afternoon, Konan,” he slightly bows his head. 

“Sasuke, dear, good afternoon to you too.” 

She’s fixing her earrings as she timidly smiles: “He’ll be pleased to have you back early.” - Sasuke’s glad she doesn't mind him entering and leaving the residence as he wants, not asking permission, not calling in in advance. She is quiet, polite and she keeps to herself. She also lives her life, never asks questions and goes with the flow. Sasuke found out, after a few months of their marriage, he actually likes Konan for she accepted her marriage with Itachi is only on paper, for the sole reason to please the Uchiha Almighty. 

Konan bids her smile and a soft goodbye, so Sasuke can take off his shoes and nearly sprints into the south wing. He knows the residence nearly as well as his own. 

Itachi and him have been messaging the whole morning so Sasuke knows Itachi had a night conference meeting that lasted for  _ hours _ , he was forced to work on a case concerning one of their smaller businesses, and then he spent the entire afternoon with the managers. Sasuke knows Itachi was held up for more than 45 hours for the second time this week - Sasuke is aware this is Fugaku finally taking his lost claim on Itachi now that Sasuke was abroad for more than three days, and this is also the reason the youngest Uchiha is so pissed. When Fugaku finally allowed his heir to leave his office, Itachi wasted no time in getting home to catch up on sleep. (Itachi had a feeling he’s only allowed home because Sasuke is on his way back, and Fugaku - although he’d never admit it - held a little respect towards his younger child, after all that time.)

Sasuke makes sure he’s quiet when he takes off his suit and his pants when entering Itachi’s bedroom, so he can quietly cuddle up to his sleeping brother. 

“...’ske,” Itachi wakes up when Sasuke spoons his sibling. “...Sasuke?” 

“Shh, mine, shh. ‘arrived early,” Sasuke whispers to his ear and lies comfortably down. “Sleep now.” 

“ Y‘sh’ld’ve told me,” Itachi mumbles into his pillow, angling his body closer to Sasuke’s. “ ’d pick you up at the airport.” 

His sweet, melting southern british accent is something that soothes and calms Sasuke’s entire existence. They never speak with their mother tongue for it’s the language of their father. They don't speak it. They found english language they used in the happy times they spent together traveling, vacationing, without rules and his father behind their back, rather soothing, and used it since their first vacation to Cape Verde - they were not fluent in Portuguese by then, so whenever they were at loss with local Creol or said Portuguese, they used English. It’s an easy language with grammatical freedom, which is quite the metaphor here. It’s the only language Sasuke is willing to speak in out loud. He doesn't mind most of the languages, but he hates French, and their native language brings him anxiety attacks. 

“No need,” Sasuke gently rubs at his brother’s side, having missed the touch, the smell, the voice, the presence. “Shh, shh, sleep, Itachi.” 

“Mhm,” Itachi agrees, already nearly there. 

Sasuke silently chuckles to himself as he lets his head rest on his elbow to be able to see half of Itachi’s sleeping face. He gently strokes some of his long hair off of his cheek, just the lightest of touches so he won't take his brother up. 

_ Sasuke was barely a few months old. He’d say it’s his first memory, his oldest memory at all, but he might be wrong. Itachi was leaning over to him, his hair falling down onto Sasuke’s tummy, chest, some on his face. Sasuke’s tiny hands went for the silky material, catching it in his chubby fists. Itachi obviously expected pain, and expected the baby to pull on it - but it never came. Sasuke’s big black eyes just looked into Itachi’s, gently touching the hair, obviously not expecting how it felt in his hand, and then he let go.  _

It must have been the first touch his brother didn't mind. At that time. Because… after that, he remembers his right to always have the primal need to touch his hair, and his brother always insisted his hair stayed long for this exact purpose. Sasuke knows there had to be an argument between their father and Itachi about such a girly thing. Sasuke knows there had to be a scene caused, because the young Uchiha had a wish, and furthermore, he was having an  _ opinion _ , that wasn't something Fugaku was fond of - or something he  _ allowed  _ at all - but nonetheless, Itachi’s hair stayed untouched - long, silky, beautiful. Sasuke now, old enough and with sufficient overview, understands that it had to be a crucial moment in Itachi’s life, and Fugaku’s, too, because it was the first and last thing Itachi ever demanded, and won against the Ominous Fugaku. 

As perfectional Fugaku was, he of course made sure the siblings never stayed too close to each other, but he completely overlooked, to the boys luck, they had their bedrooms next to each other. Sasuke was forced to stay in his own room at the age of six months, and expected to last the entire night not only without needing a change, food or drink, but also completely alone - without touch, without anyone to come to him when he cried, was scared, lonely. But of course, Sasuke had his older brother, who was nearly seven when he started to take his brother into his room, into his bed, to tell him stories, touch him, play with him, soothe his fears and nightmares. Sasuke remembers some of the moments. He remembers when he was scared, Itachi always sneaked him into his own room to take care of him, cuddle him, let him sleep in his bed. 

Neglected at the age of six months he of course developed many traumas, one of them was, he didn't talk. He never did. Not even when his parents or teachers were not around. He learned how to do so, but he wasn't willing to talk at all. Especially in public.

_ “Boys his age usually talk!” Fugaku yelled at his wife while Sasuke, aged three, was sitting by the table next to Itachi. “What’s wrong with him?!”  _

_ “I don't know,” Mikoto tried to soothe her husband. “It could - It could be something with his voice? I’ll take him to his doctor.” _

_ Itachi looked Sasuke in the eye and smiled at him. “You don't have to speak. It’s okay, we’ll find a different way to communicate.”  _

_ Sasuke never doubted his brother.  _

Sasuke didn't start talking. His first word was at the age of six, when his brother was taken away from him for a week, he doesn't remember why. But he cried (in front of Fugaku, who slapped his face for doing so), he tried to get out of his father’s hold to hug his brother goodbye, but he couldn't, Fugaku’s hold on him was too tight. He yelled an agonized “ _ Itachi _ !”, as the only source of happiness left him. It was the first and last time his father heard him speak. No matter how much Fugaku tried to get a word out of his son, it never worked. No matter the punishment, the yelling, the insults, the vulgarity, the pain his father’s beatings caused. 

The phone buzzes on the bed, the display says F. U., which is the funniest thing Sasuke and Itachi came up with when saving their father’s number in their first phones. None of the boys saw him as a father, so they called him by his name, and since his initials meant also what the boys thought of him, that’s how they still have his number saved as. Sasuke picks up. He never understood why his father calls him. Sasuke never in his entire life spoke to the man. Yet their father is still trying. 

“Hello, Sasuke.” 

Silence. 

“I saw your GPS turning local, I assume everything went well and you succeeded.” 

Silence. 

“I expect you by tomorrow's dinner.” 

Silence. 

“Are you with your brother?” 

Silence. 

“Get him on the phone, I need to speak to him.” 

Sasuke hangs up and puts it back next to the farther pillow. As if there’s a way in hell Sasuke would wake his brother because of Fugaku’s order. Like he’d do anything Fugaku wants him to do, especially when it concerns his brother. Sasuke lies closer to Itachi, holding him tighter, breathing him in. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter title taken from the song Brother by Gerard Way.


	5. Brother: The nights we steal

It’s always beautiful to have his older brother this close, essentially in his arms, while he’s at his most vulnerable. There’s something in Sasuke that makes him feel settled at life, something he can be proud of, something he finds his sanity as well as his life purpose at. 

_ Itachi _ . 

Sasuke counts his breaths, rubs at his sides gently, absently, basking in the knowledge there’s  _ noone  _ Itachi ever lets touch him, cuddle him, falls asleep next to. Those are all things his brother doesn't allow just anyone, and so far, to noone at all  _ but  _ his brother. Sasuke is the only one who can rub at his brother’s sides or back when he’s asleep, who can spoon him when they nap or watch a movie, who can wash and comb his long hair. Itachi is the only person Sasuke feels like human with, and Sasuke is the only person who’s allowed to touch the god that is Itachi Uchiha. 

Sasuke watches his sleeping sibling and finds a soul-cleaning peace in it. He remembers, for so many years before they were parted, how Itachi took care of him. How he played with him, studied with him, spent time with him, talked to him, provided love and comfort because their parents never did. Their mother was always at work, and their father was gone often too, but more of, it wasn't in his nature to show any emotion, yet alone love. 

Sleeping Itachi. It was such a peaceful, calming, righteous thing to witness. Since he was a kid - since they were both children (in Itachi’s genius and his intellect and skill, it was easy to forget Itachi was only 6 years older than him) - the nights were theirs. You see, the day was full of discipline, following rules their father set. School, homework, sports, afternoon classes of languages. Different schedules for both brothers, because their father was afraid they would develop  _ feelings _ , and they would become friends, and would focus on things kids do (like play and engage in some shenanigans), and that was a big no-no for both boys since they were toddlers. 

At three years old was the age when the boys started to learn, study and follow strict order set by their father. Their day was planned carefully by professionals who believed learning languages and single sports like climbing, swimming, or tennis were considered “indulging a child in sole play”. (It was not, by the way.) 

Sasuke was talented in ways he could never tell his father about (writing), and Itachi tried to tell his father what his heart desires (drawing), but was told “no child of mine would participate in such a girly thing!”, and that was it. 

So yes, the day was full of rules, the day was always at hands of Fugaku Uchiha, who was determined to raise real men out of his sons. 

But the night? Ah, the night was theirs. Just Itachi and his baby brother. 

_ Sasuke’s been running up and down his room to run away from his brother’s hands, who was chasing after him to put the vivid five years old in bed. When he finally catches the baby, he lifts him up, playfully spinning him in his arms, and then he kisses his tummy, peeking from under his sleeping shirt. Sasuke laughs some more, as he puts his arms around Itachi’s neck and places a wet kiss on his cheek.  _

_ “My Sasuke,” Itachi smiled, laying his brother in bed.  _

_ Sasuke struggles a bit, but it only takes a few gentle pats on his back as he settles in and points to the book Itachi purchased in secret. Father wouldn't approve of a simple, colourful, easy book of a few fairy tales in his son's bedroom. It’s not  _ manly  _ enough. Itachi smiles at his baby brother and takes the book of course, reading him the fairy tales he loves so much. (Truth be told, Itachi loved it, too.)  _

_ “My my,” Itachi sighed silently after finishing the fairytale, stroking his short black hair, trying to lure the baby to sleep. “I love you so much, mine.” _

_ He leaned in and kissed Sasuke’s temple, covering him with his dark blue blanket and looked in his big black eyes. Sasuke didn't speak at that age.  _

Nights, Sasuke sighed and leaned in to kiss Itachi’s crown, nights were his happy time. Time spent with his beloved brother. No rules, no learning, no weird people telling him no all the time. Just the two of them together, playing, spending time, talking, bonding - and touching. Touch was something Itachi always had issues with. Touching wasn't something Itachi was comfortable with. Sasuke noticed that the first time when he was seven. Itachi and him spend every available time in the Academy together, whenever possible. All the longer breaks, every lunch, every free period, Itachi would find his younger brother and spend the time with him. Sasuke noticed Itachi was…  _ desired _ . Everyone looked at him, everyone wanted to talk to him, and what was the worst, everyone thought it’s alright to touch him - especially girls. 

_ It was lunchbreak, when one of the girls from Itachi’s class approached him just as Sasuke was finally, at least a bit, speaking. He was telling Itachi what he learned in english, because he loved reading.  _

_ She patted Itachi’s shoulder to get his attention and while she didn't realize Itachi’s obvious discomfort at the gesture, Sasuke did. “Will you eat lunch with me, Itachi?”  _

_ Itachi wasn't known to be talkative or friendly. But he never said no due to his uprising (his father didn't allow opinions, yet alone “no” as an answer), and maybe the girl knew that. But Sasuke, as young and silent as he was, noticed how uncomfortable his brother was.  _

_ “Leave,” the small baby said to the girl.  _

_ She took offence in it and left, and Itachi actually smiled at his baby brother: “You know when to speak, don't you, little one?”  _

_ And Sasuke was happy he was right, and he was happy he could protect his older brother for once, too. _

Truth be told, noone tried to get Itachi to sit with them during lunch, or talk to him, since. Itachi told his baby brother he’s happy alone, and he’s the happiest with Sasuke by his side. Since then, Sasuke was inseparable from his brother. Till Itachi was sent to University abroad. Sasuke was thirteen when he was forced to say goodbye to his brother for the longest time yet (they were to be separated for nearly three months). Sasuke fell into three a month silence that was broken only after his brother came back. 

Fugaku was furious at that time the most. Since all doctors told the Uchihas their child is perfectly alright, healthy as he should be, that not speaking is a mental issue and later in life his choice, Fugaku realized it’s his responsibility and duty to make Sasuke talk. And just like their father is, he doesn't understand love, care, connection and mental stability, so of course he tried to make Sasuke talk by yelling, offending, insulting and beating. Sasuke was four years old when he got beaten up by his father for the first time.

_ “I send you to all the doctors I know,” he told his four years old baby. “They all told me you are not speaking by choice.”  _

_ Sasuke was alone in his father’s study. He was scared, but he didn't cry. He missed his brother, he didn't like his father and wanted to be gone. He didn't feel comfortable in his father’s presence.  _

_ “Why aren't you talking?” _

_ Silence.  _

_ “I’m your father. You have to respect me. When I tell you to speak, it’s your duty to do so!”  _

_ Silence.  _

_ “Answer me, Sasuke. Say: yes, father,” Fugaku demands, but is met with silence again. “That’s enough. Come here!”  _

_ His yelling scared Sasuke enough to step back; he tried to run off, but his father, full of rage, yelling, grasped the small arm of a tiny baby and aversively threw him over his knee to spank his bum brutally enough for Sasuke to cry out, but not enough to make him speak.  _

_ “I’ll teach you how to speak to me! Even if I have to beat the words out of you, you’ll speak to me with respect I deserve from you!!!” he yelled as he spanked the boy raw.  _

Itachi was waiting behind the closed door, and when his father ran away from the crying baby, poor four years old child that needed love and care and understanding and received only hate, anger and pain, Itachi came in rushing, took his baby brother into his arms and carried it back into the safety of his room, where he stripped him, gently rubbed a soothing oil onto his red, bruised bottom, thighs, and back, and spend the rest of the day with his brother, hiding him in his arms, reading him stories, talking to him, gently rubbing at all the sore areas, explaining to him that his father is evil, and Sasuke didn't do anything wrong, that their father is just a horrible human being and is mean to Sasuke for no reason. He never told Sasuke to speak to their father, or to follow his rules. Itachi had his own ways to stand up to the big boss. 

(Itachi was, that night, called in by his father to receive his beating, too, because he was helping Sasuke afterwards. Itachi never cried during the beating, and he never showed any emotion. He developed a PTSD to touch of course, and underlying hate for men in power, which was understandable.) 

Needless to say Sasuke never spoke to his father. Not even once in his life, and he won't. His own father has got no idea how Sasuke’s voice sounds, and there’s something soothing about that fact. Of course Fugaku tried to get a word out of his son even after this beating. There came basically a house arrest, where Sasuke wasn't allowed for two weeks to leave his room, which made Sasuke and Itachi really happy, because Fugaku never came to their part of the house, so Sasuke and Itachi spent two weeks together, never leaving the other’s side. Then there came one more beating, when Sasuke was nine. He cried that time too, everything hurt, he was sore, scared and tired, and after the beating Fugaku made him kneel in the corner for several hours. But Itachi made it all better after again with soothing oil he massaged into his brother’s skin, with cuddles, with fairy tales, speaking, touching, playing, like always. 


End file.
